


Suspending Reality

by ShipperWriter



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: 19x16, Episode Tag, F/M, Post-“Dare”
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 00:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13986450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipperWriter/pseuds/ShipperWriter
Summary: She hadn’t spoken to him since he walked away from her in front of the courthouse that day, that fateful day when the only one who found him guilty was himself.She didn’t know what to say then, just like she didn’t know what to say now.But that didn’t mean she didn’t want to call him and at least hear his voice.(aka Liv has had a bad day and just wants to talk to Rafa, but she’s not sure if she can)Episode tag for 19x16 “Dare”. Follows immediately after the last scene.





	Suspending Reality

  
Olivia sunk back on her desk as Amanda walked out, her heart feeling heavier than it had ever since she walked the organ cooler off the roof. She covered her mouth, trying not to be completely overwhelmed. She couldn’t help but feel - no, _know_ \- that it was completely her fault.

  
Peter Stone gave her a sympathetic glance. He seemed to know that words wouldn’t be enough to remedy this, so he simply pursed his lips, nodded at her, and followed Amanda out of the office, head dropping as he made his way to the elevator.

  
She pushed herself off the desk and shut her door. Noah didn’t need to see her in this state; she needed to find some composure before she walked out the door and headed home. Taking a seat on the leather couch, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened the phone app to show her favorites, getting ready to call Lucy back, when another name caught her eye.

  
_Rafa_.

  
She hadn’t spoken to him since he walked away from her in front of the courthouse that day, that fateful day when the only one who found him guilty was himself. His number probably wasn’t even connected anymore; she honestly had no idea since she hadn’t been able to bring herself to try it. She didn’t know what to say then, just like she didn’t know what to say now.

  
But that didn’t mean she didn’t want to call him and at least hear his voice.

  
Her thumb lingered over his name. A memory from years past briefly surfaced, recalling the first time they had met, his unorthodox methods that had won the case. Six years of being colleagues, associates, friends, had made him different. He even said it. “I’m _you_ now, Liv.”

  
But after this week, she wasn’t sure who _she_ was.

  
Rafael had ended a child’s life out of compassion, going against everything he thought he had believed in. Olivia’s actions had effectively killed a child that she had a chance to save. The medic’s question kept ringing in her ears: what if this had been Noah? What if this was her one chance to save him?

  
She knew it was a moot point to continue ruminating over this. What’s done was done. Wallowing in self-pity wouldn’t bring little Harry back. It wouldn’t erase the previous case. It wouldn’t make her feel any better.

  
It took her a few seconds to realize that she had actually tapped his name.

  
She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, as she pressed the phone to her ear. To her shock and amazement, it actually rang. Once. Twice. Then three times. And fou-

  
“Liv.”

  
Liv let out a breath that she hadn’t even realized she was holding. “Rafa.”

  
“Hi,” he said back. She swore she could hear his half smile as he spoke.

  
“Hi,” she parroted, still at a loss for words, sounding a little lost herself.

  
Rafael’s voice went low. “You okay?”

  
She tried to stifle a whimper. She failed. “No.”

  
“Noah? Is he okay?”

  
“Mmm. He’s good. He’s fine.” _He misses you._

  
“Bad case?”

  
“Yeah.”

  
“Kids?”

  
“Mm-hmm.”

  
She heard a sigh, knew he was licking his lower lip as he tried to find the right words. He should have known by now that sometimes words don’t work. But bless his heart, he tried anyways.

  
“It never gets easier, does it?”

  
Okay, that wasn’t so bad.

  
“No, not really.”

  
“Want a drink?”

  
She smirked at that. As if he was close enough to meet her at Forlini’s to make good on the offer. Honestly she had no idea where he called home these days, and she didn’t particularly like the idea of running into Stone and kicking him out of Rafa’s seat. “I want my friend.”

  
Not like that was any better.

  
“I’m right here, Liv. Always.”

  
She said it before she could stop herself. “I miss you, Rafa.”

  
“I know. God, I miss you too.” He skipped a beat, then said the most unexpected thing. “Let me take you to dinner.”

  
Liv tried to hide a laugh. “Please don’t tell me that you’ve been hiding out at your mom’s for the last month.”

  
Static filtered through the phone in lieu of a reply. After three seconds, she heard, “Okay, I won’t.”

  
She almost jumped off the couch. “You’ve been here the whole time?”

  
“Mami spends most of her time trying to keep her school afloat. It gave me a lot of time on my own to reflect and decide where to go from here.”

  
Liv bit her lip. “And what have you decided?”

  
“I’m still working on that part.” She swore the smirk had made a reappearance with that last comment.

  
Liv leaned back and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Rafael…”

  
“Just… let’s suspend reality for one night. I’ll come over and make you and Noah dinner. Maybe something that’s not in the pasta family?”

  
“Noah has a macaroni and cheese addiction,” Liv confirmed, leaning back against the couch again.

  
“ _Pobrecito_ ,” Rafa said with a chuckle. “Okay, give me an hour and I’ll be there.”

  
“Rafa?”

  
“Yeah.”

  
“You don’t have to do this.”

  
She heard a sharp intake of air. “Liv, I’ve practically been living at home for the last month, doing nothing but wearing old Harvard sweats and watching Food Network. Let me put on something nice and cook for you. I’ll even bring my own Scotch.”

  
She chuckled. “Not necessary. Your bottle’s still here.”

  
“Okay. See you soon.”

  
As the phone clicked off, a bit of the weight started to lift. Suspending reality had a nice sound to it.

* * *

 

_fin._


End file.
